Hi, I am Vicky, founder of WeChatNINJA, former marketing consultant for DiDi APP English version, and a proud resident of Shanghai coming from Hong Kong and Taiwan.
I decided to write an article and share with you what I have experienced for the last 2 months during the Coronavirus situation about my fear.
This was a challenging journey for me, and it took me some time and lots of effort to get over with the fear that I had.
With the increasing tensions around the world, I hope this article will somehow be able to help those who are in quarantine or those whose business is at risk because of this unfortunate event. It is a crucial time that we stay mentally strong especially now more than ever to fight it. Cheers.
I returned to Shanghai, China on the 6th of February, 2020. My original plan was only staying in Taiwan for 5 days for the Chinese New Year with my families and I end up staying with my parents for 14 days.
Before I flew to Taiwan I was in Japan getting my ski itch fixed, and despite the fact that the snow sucks this season I am really glad I did the Japan trip.
Because who knows, for the next 2 months, the world would fall into the crisis of Coronavirus.
According to https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/. As of today, 12 PM Beijing Time on March 23, 2020, there are 337.553 Coronavirus cases worldwide, with currently infected patients of 224,015, deaths at 14,654.
Now, let’s go back to the moment before I decided to fly back to Shanghai from Taiwan.
I remembered the news keep stating how serious and dangerous the virus situation was in China, and how difficult for those Taiwanese businessmen in Wuhan, China trying to return back to Taiwan but they couldn’t, due to the whole city lockdown policy. And my dad looked at me asking (more like telling me, so many people want to go back to their home in Taiwan to be with their family and they couldn’t, AND YOU wanna go back to where they were trying to leave?
At that time, on the TV and the news, China was the place with a very high risk of getting infected with the virus, and who knows, maybe I would get infected and never be able to return to Taiwan and see my parents again. But I set my mind to go back to my “home” for the last three years. I determined to see my lovely dog again, I had a business there to run, I missed my apartment. And I was confident everything was going to be ok as soon as I went back to where I belong.
I was happy to be back in Shanghai after 2 weeks of staying with my parents, plus one week in Japan before that. What I didn’t know was what would happen next.
This was before the term “Social Distancing” started trending. Everyone in Shanghai was asked to stay home and not going out to decrease the level of risk people infecting each other. Me as someone return from another country, in particular, was not allowed to go outside of my house for 14 days. When I was at home, the panic started kicking in, the virus situation didn’t seem to be better. There were more and more new cases each day. My mom calling me each day to ensure I was getting enough food and essentials so my immune system was ready to fight the virus.
When you are only one person in the house and not much to do, a lot of negative thoughts will come into your head. What if I got infected? What would happen to my dog if I caught the virus? Who’s gonna take care of her? Would my business be able to survive with this “no office”, “work-from-home” policy? Do we have enough cash to make it to the Q2 if we don’t get enough revenue? Should I get out of China and take a break in other countries and wait until the virus situation better? Maybe Thailand or Europe? (this is before the outbreaks in Europe)
All of the above came from my fear and my doubt about the things I had NO control over with.
What happens next seems unavoidable – I started to fall into a deep depression with anxiety without knowing.
I have had depression with anxiety before, and it usually lasts for a couple of days and goes, happens once a month or every 2 months.
But this time is different. With the quarantine, the pause for the whole business industry, the “work-from-home”, the depressing news, the death toll all over the place. And the fear that I might have a chance to be infected that my dog AND my business could both be dead because of that, it was just so stressful and painful.
The depression leads to some symptoms such as: not able to get out of bed in the morning, can’t help but putting negative thoughts in my head whenever possible. Blaming myself for little things I didn’t do when I think I should. Not believing myself that I deserve to be happy. My life feels like it was meaningful-less, everything seems gray, every moment awake became unbearable. It was real.
I noticed how miserable I made myself feel and how I would end up drinking almost every night just so I don’t think about those depressing things. I even thought about start smoking. Both were bad for my health.
The fear of the virus is eating away the control I had over my emotions, and my actions. And this doesn’t make sense and doesn’t have to be. How can we be already beaten before I got the virus? It just doesn’t make sense.
So I started to ask myself: Why do I have this fear? What am I really scared of?
What if I am fearless and I can do anything? What can I do to make myself feel differently?
I started to learn more about the virus, like the information about virus cases around my area. The measures I could take to ensure I was at less risk of being infected. I eat healthier to get my body ready and boost the immune system. I drink more water because I know I should.
I took a closer look at the numbers for my business. Making adjustments to make sure that we do have enough cash to survive a foreseeable future.
But most importantly. I started to take action to get my MIND to try new measures and be more open to the idea of “you are doing great and you will be ready to fight whatever is coming at you”. I used to be against the idea of “meditation”, “affirmation” and “telling yourself you are great”. But it is really helpful when I open myself to trying these methods especially when no one else is around me to talk about this. I became my best partner and my best friend to tell myself – you can do it.
I am still improving my state of mind each and every single day to be better. I embrace the fact that there are some things we just don’t have total control over with, like the virus. However, we CAN control how we look at things the way we wanted to. How I can believe and trust myself to handle the stress and fear the right way.
With the improving virus situation around China, our office in Shanghai has resume working and so are our clients. We are grateful to be healthy and alive to be able to be part of the future. And we hold gratitude for that every day
This article is dedicated to those who run a business, and those who are responsible for not only themselves but also others. Say no to fear, and love yourself first so we can be the strongest fortress when others need us.
With love from Vicky.
#love #positivethinking #nofear #coronavirus #china #lockdown #gratitude #socialdistancing